Again, usually the guys who say this have their teammate’s best interests at heart. They don’t want her to get hurt, and they want her to be as prepared as possible, should the unthinkable occur. But imposing this assumption on their female training partners is rude at best and dangerous at worst. Regardless of your and your teammate’s respective genders, an experienced grappler should know how to control their weight and intensity to make practice rolls challenging and rewarding for both people involved.
BJJ purple belt and instructor Averi Clements explains why you shouldn’t assume women practice Brazilian jiu-jitsu solely for self-defense.